«I was wiped out ...I had my lights out ...»
I don’t even know how to start this thing, so I’m just going to jump right in. .» , here we go.
I know what you did last night ...
. And the scary thing is, I didn’t even know it. it which I didn’t know, either, until Aimee told me while we sat in the water. According to her, late last night, not long before we both pa*sed out, me on the floor, her on the couch, I stumbled over to one of the windows in my room.В I pulled open the window then started taking the screen off. sober, so she just watched me.
According to her, I got the screen off then pulled down my pants and underwear, did something that she couldn’t see to the ...front of my body (three guesses), and proceeded to attempt to pee out the f**king second-floor window.
like I’m doing?» was doing was getting only a little of it out the window, even though I had myself shoved pretty hard up against the window frame.В Most of it was going all over the frame and the inside wall and the (thankfully) hardwood floor in that part of the room. a bathroom in my room.В So sad. Rather than stop me she didn’t want to get it all over her because if she had turned me around, I’m sure I wouldn’t have stopped she managed to go downstairs without breaking her neck and got the mop and a bucket. When she got back, she said I was trying to pull my pants up without falling backwards out the window.В And my pants were soaked.В So she helped me take my pants off, went around the corner and put them in the washing machine, then came back and starts cleaning up. According to her, she said, «How the f**k can you forget where the bathroom is?» and I supposedly said, «Did I just pee out the window?В Where’s my pants?» That’s when she knew I was wiped out. This is pretty close, minus the f**k-me heels and the skirt.And the tan.
As drunk as she was, she was able to get me basically cleaned up and into a pair of shorts.В Then she mopped the floor and put the screen back on the window. the bed, but I stumbled and fell on the floor, so she left me there and went back to the couch.В She tried to stay up, because she was sure I was going to get sick, but I never did.В Then she fell asleep, then we both woke up this morning. , she was helping my mom load the Suburban and doing other stuff downstairs. I kept praying she would start laughing and tell me she was just playing with me about all that, but she never did. .В I’ve read about those things, but I thought they only happened to late-stage alcoholics, not to supposedly normal people. embarra*sing.В I’m writing about it here because it’s a safe forum, plus I’m considering it penance for my stupidity to tell the wh*le damn world (or whoever reads this) about it. As we sat there in the hot water with my face turning redder than any other part of me, I said, «I hope nobody saw me.» She goes, «At least you shaved.» I panicked, because at that moment I didn’t know what she was talking about.В I said, «Shaved?» This is Lindsay Lohan.She is sooooo gross, but we do have one thing in common now.(But not for long!) (Photo enlarges.)
.В I spaced doing that, too.В I tried to remember if I had looked in the mirror yet that day in case maybe I’d colored my hair in the middle of the night, too.В Or f**king cut it. remember the shaving.В But for that minute or so, it was gone, too and I wasn’t very drunk when I did it.В That’s frightening.) I said, «Please tell me if I did anything else that you remember that I shouldn’t have done.» She goes, «You had phone sex with Lili Arboreen.» I screamed.В She laughed.В I splashed water in her face. I said, «If I hadn’t been drunk, I probably could have aimed it out the window.В There’s a trick to doing that, you know.» Aimee goes, «If you hadn’t been drunk, you wouldn’t have been peeing out the f**king window to start with.» I said yeah, that’s probably right. My advice to young gymnasts: don't drink alcohol. And don't read this website when your parents are around!
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